


Don't Ask

by DeadlyHuggles



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Bottomblade, Drabbles, Hand Kink, M/M, Minor Sensory Overload, Not Problematic, no i don't know how i got here, please, so i offer romance dynamic instead, techno said no family between him and the sleepy bois
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 04:40:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30050034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadlyHuggles/pseuds/DeadlyHuggles
Summary: Seriously, don't ask. just... enjoy. i'm so sorry i've been bone for nearly a month just to return with this.i swear this isn't problematic, they are not related at all. please, they are old war buddies turned husbands your honorThis is a collection of four Techza drabbles, the last two of which are explicit, but not really full on sex scenes. Drabbles will be separated by ~
Relationships: Eret & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade/Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 24
Kudos: 217





	Don't Ask

Techno pulled himself into a ball, covering his face and ears with his cape. It was too much too loud too many people talking and asking and expecting things from him. He whined quietly and tried his hardest to focus on breathing and blocking out the noises.

Unfortunately he couldn’t go far from the party taking place in his own home, only upstairs, so he could still hear the vestiges of conversations. He flinched as he heard Tommy’s loud shouts from beneath.

He thought it was going to be fine, but after months with quiet gentle Phil and silent cautious Ranboo as his only company, even four extra people, the newly revived Wilbur, Tommy, Tubbo, and Fundy, were far too much on his senses. He had lasted as long as he could, but he couldn’t take it any longer.

Suddenly Techno felt a gentle touch on his hands. He looked up to see Phil standing over him.

“You doing good mate?” Phil asked, squatting down to his level

“Too loud.” Techno murmured, “too many people, too many questions.”

Phil hummed softly, “I'll ask everyone to quiet down. any thing i can do in the meantime?”

“Hold me?” techno asked hopefully.

Phil smiled and scooped Techno up into a hug, “you only have to ask.”

~

Techno let out a grumbly groan as he collapsed into one of Eret’s chairs. Eret didn’t even bother to look up, only continuing to paint his nails a dark shade of purple that matched his long skirt.

Eret was the ruler of a small country with borders on the Antarctic Empire, but they had been allies before the Empire had expanded that much. Eret was also the only person Techno trusted to go to about relationship things, and Eret was always happy to help if Techno would help them with whatever they were currently doing.

“What did Phil do this time?” the monarch asked, holding her hand up to observe her paint job better.

“He didn’t do anything.” Was all Techno could bring himself to say

“Alright then, what did you do?” Eret asked, thoroughly unimpressed with Techno’s avoidance of the topic.

“Nothing yet…” Techno said, retreating into himself out of embarrassment.

“And what do you want to do that’s giving you so much grief?”

Techno blushed a little and hid his face in his hands, “Iwanttoaskhimtotopforonce.”

“Full words Techno, big strong emperors like yourself don’t need to mumble.” Eret said, a little gleefully, having fully understood techno but wanting to see him admit it anyway.

“I was to ask him to fuck me, okay?!” Techno said and hid his face fully in his hands.

“Wonderful that you are finally admitting it, you switch. What’s the issue then?” Eret asked, grabbing one of Techno’s hands away from his face and laying it on the table for him to paint.

“I’ve been the top since our relationship began, and you know the stereotypes about piglins, what if he doesn’t want to top, or what if he thinks it's weird that i’m a piglin and i’m a switch?”

“Piglins have to reproduce somehow, only idiots think that they can’t be bottoms. Phil’s not gonna think any different other than maybe having a few more fantasies involving you taking his dick up your ass.” Eret said, choosing a dark shade of green for Techno’s nails, “besides, what if he’s in a similar situation to you? What if he really wants to fuck you but he’s too scared to voice it because you are a piglin and you’ve always been the top?”

Techno looked at Eret hopefully as the monarch began to paint his claws, “You really think that could happen?”

“Listen Tech, I've seen the way that man looks at your ass, he wants you. Just buckle up and tell him already, i swear, it’ll be okay. He’s gonna be overjoyed that you brought it up first.”

Technoblade nodded, thinking it over in his head, then putting his head down as he flushed, “Okay, but how do i even bring that up in conversation?! That's not just something you ask out of the blue!”

“Why not?” Eret asked nonchalantly, looking at Techno over her sunglasses, her blank eyes shining, “It’s really not that big of a deal. Aren’t you supposed to be the fearless deified ruler of a world dominating empire? Are you really going to let this conquer you?”

“ _It's really not that big of a_ \-- of course this is a big deal Eret! If he accepts this could change so much!”

From how Eret tossed his head, techno figured he was probably rolling his eyes, “It’ll change which of you gets fucked and that’s it. Just ask him. It’s no different from when you asked him if you could do things with his hands. Remember how badly you were freaking out at that? But it went just fine.”

Techno thought it over for a moment and was about to open his mouth to speak when Eret spoke again.

“If that’s another rebuttal, I don’t want to hear it. Phil would be happy to, and even if he wasn’t, this wouldn’t change your relationship. Now, stripes in a radial or linear pattern for your accent finger? I’m making you match Phil again.”

~

Techno grumbled, rolling over in his near sleep. Something furry and heavy covered his back, and he was clutching something light and soft to his chest. He snorted softly in happiness and buried his snout in the soft thing. The soft thing chuckled and he felt hands surround his snout, petting his bristle covered face.

“Hey mate, you back with me now? You all done hibernating?” The soft thing asked, and Techno’s sleepy brain only barely recognized his husband’s voice.

Techno grumbled as he leaned into Philza’s touch, but he blinked the sleep away from his eyes. He looked up into Philza’s icy blue eyes and smiled.

“Yeah,” Techno’s voice was rough and growly from disuse during hibernation, “Yeah, I’m with you. How long was I asleep?”

“Three weeks. You gave Ranboo a right scare, sent him to bring you down for breakfast one morning and he came crying back about how you were dead because you wouldn’t wake up.”

“Woops.” Techno said, pulling Philza closer to him, “I’ll apologize next time he comes over. Guess nobody told him piglins tend to hibernate when they get too cold. Anything of importance happen while I was asleep?”

Philza was silent for a moment, thinking it over, “Nothing too important i think. Ranboo is living part time with Tubbo in Snowchester again, looks like Tubbo has finally given up on governments. They adopted a kid together, a little zombie piglin named Michael.”

“Mmm,” Techno groaned, “Tubbo, the kid with all the nukes?”

“Yeah. he invited Fundy and I over recently, so we could meet their kid. Michael’s a sweet kid, I think you’d like him.”

“Cool. Anything else?”

Phil thought for a couple more moments and frowned, “I heard some rumors, but i don’t know how true they are.”

Techno pulled away to look at Phil properly, “What? What happened that’s got you so worried?”

“You uh, you remember Wilbur’s kid? Tommy, not his little fox, Fundy is doing fine?”

“The little shit who got himself exiled twice and still betrayed me for the government? Yeah, of course i remember him. Why, what happened to him?” Techno asked, sitting up a bit.

“I didn’t hear the full story, just some whispers while I was visiting Snowchester. But, mate, he got trapped in the prison, in Dream’s cell about a week into your hibernation. From what i can tell, that part is probably solid, I haven't seen Tommy anywhere, and you know how he is when it comes to Tubbo, he wouldn’t let them be separate for so long. But...” Phil looked away, “I heard from Sam, apparently Dream killed him. He beat him to death with his fist before Sam could get him out. But, I don’t think that’s right, we would have heard about it more if Tommy was dead, Ranboo and Tubbo would be planning his funeral, not having fun in Snowchester with their kid.”

Techno hummed and pulled Phil back into his embrace, burrowing back against the furry thing, that his now awake brain had identified as Steve.

“Don’t worry about it Phil, he’s not your kid, he’s not your problem anymore. Sam will get him out of the prison soon, then he’ll be back to causing problems and building his stupid cobblestone towers everywhere. Come nap with me for just a little longer.” Techno said

Phil tried to squirm for a minute before stopping, “come on, you just got out of hibernation, don’t go back to bed already mate.”

“Just five more minutes Phil, then we can get up and go visit Ranboo and his kid.”

Phil let out a disgruntled sigh, but threaded his fingers through Techno’s hair and settled in against him, “fine, but only five minutes more. I missed you.”

~

Phil stared up at Techno with a soft grin on his face. Techno’s clawed hand was held loosely in his and he stared down at Phil, a soft blush gracing his already pink face. Techno was sitting at the edge of their bed and Phil was kneeling on the ground between his legs. Phil raised Techno’s hand to his mouth and gently kissed each of the clawed fingertips, first the backs, then the front. Techno allowed Philza to move and twist his hand as he desired, his ears twitching occasionally. Phil let himself feel proud at getting a reaction out of Techno, even a small one like that. He gently kissed down Techno’s fingers and over his palm, continuing over his thumb until Techno’s hand was practically cradling his cheek, never once breaking eye contact. He let his tongue dart out of his mouth to taste Techno’s thumb, tentatively at first, then bolder. He licked over the lines of techno’s palm and up between his fingers, lathering his husband’s hand in his love.

“You look so beautiful like this mate, so good and pretty for me.” Philza murmured, kissing Techno’s palm once more.

Techno lifted his other hand to the back of Phil’s head, running his clawed fingers through messy hair. Philza couldn't help but lean into the touch, trilling softly when a claw caught on a tangle and pulled.

“Shouldn’t I be saying that to you?” Techno asked, “after all, you’re the one on your knees being good for me.”

Philza hummed and raised an eyebrow at Techno, spreading his legs suggestively, “the goal tonight is to worship you, and this is the best angle to worship from. I’m quite happy to stay here and continue to worship until you are a blushing mess, unless you want to take some control and show your humble worshipper what to do.”

Techno’s hand clenched his hair, tugging just a tad, but he made no other moves to order Phil, so he kept going. He opened his mouth and took the tip of Techno’s middle finger into his mouth, claw and all, sucking on it like it was a popsicle. He twirled his tongue around it, careful of the claw’s sharp tip, then pulled back only to swiftly take a second finger into his mouth as well. Techno tensed and pressed down on Phil’s tongue with his fingers. Phil moaned and melted into Techno’s touch, sucking harder at the fingers pinning down his tongue. Techno released the pressure so Phil pulled back, a trail of spit connecting his lips to Techno’s fingers. He grinned up at Techno and let his tongue hang out, begging for more.

~

Techno hadn’t expected Phil to actually rise up to his teasing, but he couldn’t say he didn’t like it.

He had felt rather affectionate that day, and been teasing Philza for a little while, taking full advantage of their height difference to pepper kisses over his forehead and completely cover him with a hug. He teased Phil, calling him his adorable crow, running his fingers over Philza’s wings. Philza’s blush when he did that was too beautiful to ignore the opportunity.

Eventually Phil snapped back playfully at him, “keep talking like that and i will tease you back mate.”

Techno couldn’t help but tease him back, “Oh? Is my darling husband going to tease me back, even though he’s blushing like a schoolgirl over a little affection? My beautiful crow.”

“Those are bold words for someone in kissing range, Techno.” Phil said.

“Oh? Can you even reach my snout from down there? Are you gonna make me kneel for you? Even your threats are adorable.” Techno shot back, challenging Phil.

Phil stared up at him for a moment before surging forward. Techno didn’t have time to react as Phil hooked his leg around Techno’s and yanked on it, forcing him to his knees. Phil grabbed him by the jaw and the shoulder, forcing him to look up at him and to stay on his knees.

“Don’t get cheeky Techno, I can and will put you on your knees for me.” Phil said, leaning down slightly to press a kiss to the top of Techno’s snout.

Techno flushed both from the kiss and from their current position. Philza let up on the pressure on his chin and Techno used the looseness to sink down even further, until his thighs were nearly pressed against his calves. Phil chuckled and nudged Techno’s legs apart with his foot, stepping forward into his space.

“Speak up next time you are just teasing me for attention, you know i’ve got a lot of attention to give. Now,” Phil said and pushed off Techno’s cloak, undressing his kneeling husband as he spoke, “Be a good boy and open wide.”

**Author's Note:**

> my dear beta has not touched this because she is a minor and not a big fan of Techza. however, i was encouraged along by the techza discord so thank you to all of them <3 especially potato my beloved <3
> 
> Yeah, i purposefully didn't put this in my oneshot series, i don't want my poor regular readers to be suddenly confronted with This.


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